National SIDS Awareness Day

Sorry, this isn’t a teaching post, but it is about a cause that is near and dear to my heart.  Today is National SIDS Awareness Day, and I wanted to share my store with you on how SIDS has affected my life.  Five years ago, on May 15, I received the worst phone call that a mother could ever get.  I was teaching and my daycare provider called me and told me that my daughter, Nora, was not breathing.  The doctors were unable to resuscitate her.  On the day she died, I was planning on buying birthday invitations because her birthday was only 10 days away.  Instead, I found myself making funeral arrangements the next day.


The coroner’s cause of death was SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).  Which is a diagnosis of exclusion.  There were no other factors in her death, and they could not determine how or why she died.  She simply went to sleep for her morning nap, and never woke up. 

What causes SIDS?

There is mounting evidence that suggests many SIDS babies are born with brain abnormalities that make them vulnerable to sudden death during infancy. Studies of SIDS victims reveal abnormalities in the “arcuate nucleus,” a portion of the brain that controls most of the baby’s major bodily functions such as heart rate, breathing, temperature and the ability to wake from sleep. This abnormality makes babies unable to cope with challenges in their environment that a healthy baby would be able to overcome. These challenges include tummy sleeping, bed sharing, use of soft bedding, overheating and tobacco exposure. (

I didn’t think it was possible for a nearly one year old to succumb to SIDS.   I have since educated myself on SIDS, and this is the reason for my post. 


It is not my intention for you to feel sorry for me or to make you feel scared or worried about your own children.  I just want you to educate yourself.  Current research has shown that there is absolutely nothing we can do to prevent SIDS. 

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about Nora.  The loss of a child is something that no parent should ever go through.  It is my hopes that in educating you about SIDS, you will take the time to hug  and kiss your children every day, because life does change in a blink of an eye.


If you or someone you know has lost a child, and want to talk, I am always there to listen.  There is a first-of-its-kind book that is in the final stages of printing in which I have shared the story of Nora’s death and the path that I have taken to heal.  I am not completely healed yet, and I don’t think I will ever be.  The e-book is available for purchase here: (click on the picture)


The paper version of the book will soon be available for purchase.  I will keep you updated on the status.

Thank you for letting me share my story and my Nora with you.



Is there anything parents can do to prevent SIDS/SUID?

Currently there is no way to predict which newborns will die from SIDS and no way to prevent it in all cases. However, there are lifesaving steps parents and caregivers can take to help protect their baby from SIDS, suffocation and accidents during sleep:

  • Back Sleeping. Placing babies on their backs to sleep is the single most important step that parents and caregivers can take to reduce the risk of SIDS. Since the Back to Sleep campaign started in 1994, SIDS deaths have declined by more than 50 percent. This means that more than 25,000 babies’ lives have been saved during the last decade alone with this simple step. It is important to note that placing babies to sleep on their sides is not safe. Babies that roll from their side to their tummy are 18 times more likely to die of SIDS.
  • Bedding. Babies should sleep in a crib that meets current safety standards. The mattress should be firm, fit snuggly in the crib and be covered with only a tight-fitting crib sheet. Play yard style cribs are also a good choice. There should be no soft, fluffy or loose bedding or other objects in the crib, including blankets, pillows, quilts and stuffed animals. Bumpers are not necessary – soft or pillow-like bumpers should not be used. Use a wearable blanket or other sleep clothing instead of blankets to keep babies warm. Infants under one year of age should not be placed to sleep on an adult bed, waterbed, sofa, cushion, pillow or sheep-skin.

Never use wedges or positioners to prop your sleeping baby up or keep him on his back. These devices have not been tested for safety and have not been shown to be effective at keeping babies on their backs. These devices are particularly dangerous when your baby starts wiggling around during sleep.

  • Head Covering. Make sure your baby’s head remains uncovered during sleep. Babies are at an increased risk for SIDS if their head becomes covered during sleep. Avoid using a blanket or other covering over your baby’s face as a sun or weather screen, or to block out distractions or sounds while your baby is sleeping. The blanket will cause a build-up of exhaled air around the baby’s face. This exhaled air does not have enough oxygen, which can lead to a SIDS or suffocation death.
  • Bed Sharing/Sofa Sharing. Do not share a sleep surface with your baby. Sharing a sleep surface is especially dangerous for babies less than 12 weeks old and premature or low birth weight babies. It’s okay to bring your baby into bed to feed and cuddle, but when it’s time to go to sleep, place the baby alongside your bed in a separate, safe sleep space. In addition to the known hazards caused by pillows and comforters in the family bed, there is also increased risk for accidental suffocation or overly. Never bring your baby into bed with you if you or your partner is exhausted, smoke or impaired by drugs or alcohol. Sofas and chairs are particularly dangerous places to fall sleep with your baby.

It is important to note that bed sharing has not been found to be protective against SIDS, in fact current research indicates that bed sharing increases a baby’s risk to die by as much as 40 times. Research does, however, suggest that room sharing is protective against SIDS. Keep your baby next to where you sleep in her own separate space for at least the first six months. This provides greater safety for the baby and makes it easier to breastfeed and share closeness with your baby.

  • Pacifiers. Recent research shows that pacifiers can greatly reduce a baby’s risk for SIDS. Experts recommend giving your baby a pacifier EVERY time he or she is placed down to sleep. If you are breastfeeding, wait until nursing is going well (usually one month) before offering a pacifier.

While the exact safety mechanism is not yet known, there are many possibilities for this finding. One is that the presence of a pacifier in the mouth may discourage babies from turning over onto their stomach during sleep. Because moving or turning may dislodge the pacifier, it may encourage babies to stay on their backs. Another is that the pacifier and/or sucking reflex helps keep the tongue positioned forward, keeping the airways open. Pacifier use can also help quiet a restless infant who might otherwise move more aggressively around the crib. Because pacifiers stimulate the upper airway muscles and saliva production, it is felt that pacifier use may keep babies from falling into a deep sleep, which is protective against SIDS. Regular pacifier use is protective against SIDS even if the pacifier falls out of the baby’s mouth when he or she falls asleep.

  • Smoking. Babies whose mothers smoke during pregnancy are three times more likely to die from SIDS. Exposure to second-hand smoke by mothers, fathers, grandparents and others after the baby is born also greatly increases the risk of SIDS. Studies have found that the risk of SIDS increases with each additional smoker in the home, the numbers of cigarettes smoked a day, and the length of the infant’s exposure to cigarette smoke. New research now warns of the dangers of third-hand smoke – the chemicals left behind on clothing and in homes and cars. Babies should always be kept in a smoke-free environment to protect against SIDS and other respiratory illness.
  • Room Temperature. Babies should be kept warm, but they should not be allowed to get too warm. An overheated baby is more likely to go into a deep sleep from which it may be hard to wake up. Keep the temperature in the baby’s room at a level that feels comfortable to a lightly clothed adult and avoid overdressing the baby.
  • Prenatal Care. Good prenatal care, including proper nutrition, abstinence from alcohol, drugs, and smoking, and frequent medical checkups beginning early in pregnancy, is critical to your baby’s overall health and well-being. Early and good prenatal care can also help prevent a baby from developing an abnormality that could put him or her at risk for sudden death.
  • Breast Feeding. Breast feeding has been shown to be good for babies by building their immunity against illness and infections, in addition to other benefits. Recent research provides the strongest evidence to date that breastfeeding may also reduce the risk of SIDS. Mothers should be encouraged to breastfeed for the first 12 months and exclusively for at least the first six months if possible.

Data analyzed by scientists at the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences suggest that breastfeeding can reduce the risk of death for infants in their first year of life. Looking at infants between 28 days and one year of age, researchers concluded that promoting breastfeeding could potentially prevent up to 720 post-neonatal deaths in the U.S. each year. Researchers compared CDC records of 1,204 children who died between 28 days and one year of causes other than congenital anomalies or cancer with those of 7,740 children still alive at one year.

  • Proper Health Care. Take your baby to the doctor for all regular well-baby checkups and make sure that your baby receives his or her immunizations on schedule.
  • Childcare. Babies who usually sleep on their back are at a significantly increased risk of SIDS when placed to sleep on their stomach by a well intentioned but ill-informed relative or caregiver. Be sure to share your safe sleep rules with baby sitters, child care providers, grandparents and anyone who cares for your baby. Since childcare practices have changed a lot since you were a baby, do not assume that everyone knows about important safe sleep practices in preventing SIDS, suffocation and accidents during sleep.

Source: First Candle


  1. Kathleen, God bless you and your family. You're in my thoughts and prayers today!

  2. Thoughts are with you and your family. As a soon-to-be new mommy, this is one of my greatest fears. Thanks for sharing this!

  3. Kathleen,
    Thank you for your generosity in taking the time to educate young mothers about this. Until you read about this or talk to someone who has walked in your shoes you might not pay close attention. Life takes you on so many unexpected journeys and so many challenges are put in front of us. I appreciate your willingness to share with your blogging friends and it brings all of us just a bit closer.
    Love, Fran

  4. Oh Kathleen, I cannot imagine. Thank you for not only sharing your story and pictures of your most adorable Nora, but also for sharing some prevention tips that someone may not know about. I will definitely be keeping you in my thoughts. ♥

  5. Thank you so much for sharing! Your Nora is a such a doll baby! Absolutely beautiful! My best friend lost her twin baby girls this past year. I will pass along the information about the book to her.

  6. Thank you so much for posting this. Your open-ness has touched me deeply. I am a mother to 9 children. With each baby, I worried sick about SIDS. I've been very fortunate. Your story will stay with me. xoxoxo

  7. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. May God continue to bless and keep you.

  8. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You are a very strong person to be able to share your story and inform others!

  9. Thanks sooooo much for sharing. I know that talking about experiences can help in the healing process. I feel that I am one of the lucky ones. My daughter stopped breathing when I was feeding her when she was just a few days old. We were still in the hospital and she began breathing again. Because of this experience, she was put through further testing and was placed on an apnea monitor and some medicine until she was a year and a half. I can't even begin to imagine the loss of a child. Please know that my thoughts and prayers go out to you as you continue on your journey of the "new normal" that you are living!

  10. Kathleen,
    Thank you for sharing such a personal and very moving story. May the tips you share help another mother be more aware. God Bless...

    ~ Amy

  11. Kathleen,

    My heart skipped a beat as I began to read your post because I have walked in your shoes. It has been a long time since I've come into contact with a mom who has lost a child to SIDS and I became so overcome with emotion. I am SO SORRY to hear of your loss, Nora is so beautiful. I lost my son, Jace, at almost 4 months of age to SIDS and I, too, think of him daily and miss him terribly. He would have been 9 years ond on April 19. I always say that I am so thankful for my time I had with him and that he taught me more in the 4 months he was here than my 40 years of living, he still teaches me things today as I think about my journey without him. I hope you are blessed beyond measure today and in the days to come as you remember sweet Nora and live your life in her honor. MANY blessings to you and your family.

  12. Thank you for posting this information. I am also a kindergarten teacher and I too lost my daughter, Maddie, to SIDS. We need to get awareness out there! I cant wait to read your book.

  13. Oh, I'm so sorry Kathleen! Thanks for sharing such a personal story.

  14. Oh wow. You are such a strong woman! Thank you for the GREAT information on SIDS.

  15. Thank you for sharing, I am so sorry this happened to you and it is so wonderful for you to be helping others through such a hard experience. You are amazing.

    Mrs. Bee
    Bee's KinderGarden

  16. I just stumbled across this post and am deeply sorry for your loss. Our twin boys were born 7 weeks early and due to alarms in the hospital, were put on apnea monitors for 6 months. Our next child was also determined to be at high risk and was on one for 9 months. I am so grateful for the medical technology that was available for us. I wish you and your family well; my thoughts are with you and your little angel, Nora. God Bless

  17. Thank you so much for sharing your loss with us. I am so sorry this happened to your family. My friend lost her baby girl to SIDS several years ago and it was heart breaking. You are an amazingly strong person. Sending prayers your way.